Friday, September 26, 2008

A Good Mormon Wife? What the heck is that?

This morning I was reading an entertaining article in the Deseret News by Orson Scott Card entitled A Bad Wife or just a Busy One (It's in the Mormon Times section if you want to take a look at it). Anyway, the general gist of it was that Mr. Card's wife had an issue with him taking his shirts to the cleaners because as a good Mormon wife, she was supposed to iron although she hated it. There's also talk about division of labor and stuff like that (read the article folks!). That got me to thinking-what exactly is a good Mormon wife? and am I one of those people?

Sometimes we think about a good Mormon wife and what she supposedly does. She bakes, knits, cleans, has a spotless house, does her visiting teaching every month (the first day), her geneology is up to date (from Adam), she volunteers at the school, hospital and library (every day), she's read the scriptures at least twice this year (all 4 standard works), her husband comes home to a four course meal and her children are always polite, clean and on their way to being the next Bill Gates or Nobel Prize winner. That must be tiring. I need a nap.

From me, you will get a blank stare when you ask who my great great great grandmother on my father's side is (dad who is it?). I also laugh if someone asks me if I sew or bake my own cakes and cookies or if my oh so delicious brownies are "home made". My brownies, by the way are home made, I make them at home from a Duncan Hines mix, my idea of darning socks is to look at the hole in them and say "Darn!" if not something else better left untyped, sewing is something that I have never got the hang of (I've never really tried, it just seems cheaper to go buy something). When Mike and I got married, we had a deal that he would do the yard work, the house work and everything else if I changed poopy diapers. That deal worked really well until Jared was potty trained, now I have to actually do some stuff that I don't like doing, like housework. Mike still does the bulk of the cleaning, I'm more of a "picker-upper". However, he doesn't do the homework with the kids, that's my job. I cook and draft him to wash dishes. He cuts the yard and I actually don't do anything with it other than say "honey, the yard looks really great, good job!". I am also the supreme planner, scheduler and kid taker and picker upper. Ask me what the kids or Mike has going on and I can tell you the rough schedule until the end of the year (including the holiday schedule and who will have Kiersten on Christmas Eve this year).

Where are you going with this Kristi you ask? This is where I'm going: We as LDS women sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to be "perfect". We all have different strengths and weaknesses. We need to celebrate ourselves, not dwell on our failings. I think my mom keeps a spotless home, Connie has the most loveliest decorations, Christy P. makes the most beautiful dresses and outfits I've ever seen, Trish makes the most to die for desserts, I could go on and on with things that other women do that I don't. I'm glad they do them.

The answer to the question what is a good Mormon wife to me is: a woman who loves her family, does her best to do what she's supposed to and appreciates the gifts and talents of others. Am I one of those people? Although I may fall short at times, I'm trying and I think that's all the Lord asks of us.

That's my post for the week. Peace and love y'all!


Anonymous said...

I love this. Im still waiting on my talents though...hee hee

Jayne said...

This is WONDERFULL...not to mention extremely amusing. I like your bottom line: We all have different gifts/talents, and we need to keep on doing what we do best and stop berating others who aren't perfect Mormon wives (actually I've never met one). Oh, we also need to stop beating ourselves up when we fall short.

Connie said...

Chuckling...would Molly Mormon get a henna tattoo? You are funny and insightful, a great friend, a great mom and wayyyyyyyyy more spiritual than many. Awesome post, grasshopper.

Laresa said...

I have to laugh at your article. There is no such thing as a perfect Mormon wife. And who is Molly Mormon. Has anyone ever met her? Very insightful article. It made me think of the different molds that we put upon ourselves. Nobody does that do us but ourselves, and it is all because we think there is a perfect Mormon wife we have to uphold too.

Christy said...

And you, Kristi, are wonderful with our little ones every Sunday!!

MICHELLE, you are a master in the kitchen. From someone who suffers terribly in this department, or maybe it's my family that suffers, you are TALENTED!

Alona said...

Great post. No one can do it all. So we should be good at what we do well and be thankful for those who do those other things well. Then make sure you remain their friend so we can benefit from their talents as we try to share our own.

Eric said...

2 words come to my mind BAD WIFE !