I've found myself lately really thinking about who I am as a person, an individual. It all started when I asked DH the other day why he called me "my wife" when he was talking to someone that we both know fairly well. This puzzled me, why doesn't he just say Kristi did such and such? DH's answer was that sometimes he was talking to someone that didn't know my name and it's just easier to say "my wife" rather than explain who I am and it has become a habit. I've also noticed other men that do this and want to ask them the same question but refrain. I've also gotten into the habit of introducing myself as whatever kids mom I need to be in that situation. It's irritating.
Who am I? To the world apparently I'm Joe and Vicki's daughter, Mike's wife, the kids' mom, Anita's SIL. Someone stopped me at church a few weeks ago and said to me "Hey, you're back!". No, I never left, that would be my brother's family. This is a person that has known me for years. This wasn't the first time they had made a comment about me leaving and/or coming back. Am I so forgetable? I know that I'm shy and quiet and fairly low maintenance so I'm overlooked a bit (not that I mind most of the time), and that's part of who I am but not everything.
Who am I? To me, I love being a wife and a mom and that is a major part of my life at this time. However, I'm also a person who has all sorts of interests. I love to read. I'm a beginning knitter. I love to learn stuff. I long to travel. I have a horrible temper. Christmas isn't my favorite holiday (Thanksgiving is). I have a silly sense of humor. I have crazy stuff that runs through my head almost all of the time so if you say something to me and I just get a silly smile, it's usually a stray thought that's gone through my head that I find amusing. I dream in color sometimes. I love to cook. I like Impressionist Art. I'm not one for a lot of drama, it's just too tiring. I love naps. I would love to go back to school and learn Russian and Hebrew and more about Art History. I think Russian history is fascinating. I can't do 7th grade math. I like to learn about other religions. I want to go to Italy just to look at the art and go to The Vatican. I wanted to work for a major museum before my life got a tad sidetracked.
What's the point of this? I'm saying sometimes we get lost in our roles as someone else's whatever (parent, child, wife, husband, daughter) that we lose who we are as individuals. Am I suddenly going to become some drama requiring, it's all about me type person? No, that's not who I am. I am me.
I was thinking over this post while I was knitting at lunch (it's a great destresser, as DFC says, it's cheaper than therapy) and I figured out that the people that matter in my life know who I am and that's fine with me. As for the others that don't really know me as me, just an extension of someone else, maybe eventually they'll learn who I am and I'll get to know them.
Peace and love y'all!