Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Me v. The Jeans

Dear Reader,
I have been looking for the perfect pair of jeans for some time now and have decided that they don't exist. After Sally chewed a hole in my favorite relaxed fit jeans, I had to go find another pair to go with my "going out" jeans. After searching long and hard, I thought I had found the perfect pair of Levi's. Sure, they were too long and if you tugged real hard they might just slide down, but who cares? So I bought two and washed one pair to try them out. Well, they're still too long (I was hoping I would grow a few inches but no) which doesn't bother me, but they're still just a tad loose. So, after much debate with myself, I'm going to take the second pair back.

My friend at work were discussing this the other day at lunch. There is no such thing as the perfect pair of jeans anymore, especially if you don't want to pay triple digits for denim. I'm partial to Levi's myself (let's face it, they just make my butt look better) but will wear whatever I can find. How many pairs did I try on and make Mike and Jared sit through? At least 10 to find one pair that didn't really fit (but made my butt look cute) and by that time both of them had started looking a little harassed and Jared was making let's go noises.

So, to vent- here is my list of gripes having to do with denim

-everything is too freaking long. We are not all 5'8". In fact the average American woman is quite a bit shorter. If it's a "regular" or "medium" length, make them just a few inches longer than the national height average, that's fine. The ones that I bought-almost 3 inches too long and you can't hem those! What do you do? Don't tell me to buy short length, doesn't work because my legs are actually too long and I have a normal length torso. I just happen to be vertically challenged.

-why can't jeans come in half sizes? I'm too big for this size but then the next size falls off. Or how about this sizing: Size I'm feeling cute and tiny today. Size I'm feeling pretty normal today. Size I'm feeling big as a dadgum elephant but these better make my butt look good. I think that would be wonderful!

-If I wanted to look like I had been rolling around a mechanic's greasy floor, that's what I would do. I also don't want my jeans to look dirty. Again, If I wanted jeans with brown stuff on them, I would roll in the dirt. How about faded enough to look cool but not dirty and especially not that whole dark dark blue and stiff that we all know and love from the first days of school when our parents still bought our clothes.

-Do not expect me to pay $50 or more for ripped up jeans that are "recycled". Recycled from whom? If I wanted ripped jeans, I would artfully rip them myself. But again, why am I going to pay $50 for something I'm going to tear up?

-The rise thing. I'm a mid-rise girl myself which means I like my jeans to sit just a little low. Not "hello look at my butt crack if I bend over" low, a classy low where everything stays where it should and there's no threat of being arrested for indecent exposure.

I am not a teenager any longer, I'll be 35 in about a week. I just want a pair of jeans that looks cool (not hoochie momma cool), is not too expensive, will actually fit right and makes my butt look great. Is that too much to ask?

If you have found the perfect pair of jeans, please let me know!

Peace and love y'all (and happy shopping)!


SCNONI said...

I have always thought you had a cute butt...no matter what you had on at the time. But, I'm your Mother and I love every little part of you. Especially your left field sense of humor.

scchesleys said...

um, thanks?

Anonymous said...

I love my apt 9 jeans from kohls. However you have to wait until they are on clearance! I like the midrise levis from target to with a slight hint of stretch. They fit on elephant days and you can wash and dry them and they're snugger on tiny days.

Connie said...

Just don't buy Mom jeans!!! I like boot cut myself. I'm much more fashionable now than I was when the kids were younger...just ask them.

I bought a pair of dark "trouser" jeans with pockets on the booty and I get compliments all the time. Pockets would probably make your butt look cute too.

P.S. The trouser jeans are dressy enough to wear "out" and to work in.

scchesleys said...

no mom jeans for me. I tend more towards boot cut myself. Can't wear any denim to work. The pockets always help.

Tiff said...

There is no such thing as the perfect pair but I do remember the days when they actually existed! I bought my last pair at Kohl's and they were made by Dockers, I just liked that they didn't feel starchy and the pair before that were from Sam's Club, I know it's sad!

Jayne said...

The last pair I bought was from Penney's (Levi's I think), and I love the way they fit. My daughters even made nice comments about them...very rare for Elizabeth. I've also lucked up and found some super cool ones at TJ Maxx. Love that store!

Connie said...

no denim not even a jacket and what no casual day???

Anita said...

And my kids wonder why I only own 3 pairs of jeans! Too much hassle trying to buy new ones.

You should know, by the way, that your brother is an avid reader of your blog, and often reads it before I do. I noticed he never comments (when does he ever out loud anyway?) but he enjoys it greatly! So, since he married me to do his talking, I thought i'd let you know.

scchesleys said...

Connie, no casual day at all. I haven't seen a denim jacket in many a day. Anita, he told me last night when he called.

Thanks for all of your comments!

peace, love, and rock&roll said...

I feel your pain!!! I have somewhat of the same problem except that sometimes the short length jeans are still too long. I hate pants shopping.